Five Lessons in Motherhood: I've Learnt as a Mother and Holistic Therapist for Women
From five years of raising two little girls, and holding space for mothers and daughters in my practice, here are some of the biggest lessons I've learnt in motherhood.
As a mother to two little girls (aged 2 and 5) and a holistic therapist, here are five lessons in motherhood — drawn both from living it myself and from holding space for mothers and daughters in my practice. It's a combination that's taught me things I don't think I'd have learnt from either role alone.
Lessons in Motherhood
Romanticize the tiny moments
Motherhood is undeniably hard. The journey brings challenges at every phase — from the sleepless nights of newborn care to the emotional rollercoaster of the teenage years. Diaper changes, school projects, the shifting social dynamics of growing up: every stage has its own trials.
But amid the difficulty, if you train your brain to notice the whimsical, magical moments threaded through ordinary days, your heart swells with a profound love for this role. A baby's eyes lighting up at a favourite toy. A toddler's infectious laugh in the park. These moments are fleeting, but they're the building blocks of the memories that actually define motherhood.
As children grow, the magic evolves — the first time a child reads independently, the pride in their eyes at a small milestone. Celebrating these, however minor, deepens the connection and the appreciation. Choosing to notice the whimsical moments doesn't just enhance your own experience; your children learn to see the beauty in ordinary life alongside you.
Protect your sacred energy
Surround yourself with people and environments that genuinely illuminate your spirit and leave you feeling fulfilled — this matters for both personal growth and overall well-being. Positive, uplifting people inspire you, challenge you to grow, and support what you're building, creating a sense of belonging where you can actually thrive.
Boundaries are what make this possible. Communicating your limits clearly and assertively creates the framework that lets you engage meaningfully with others without compromising your own needs. This isn't just healthier for your relationships, it's what allows you to prioritize your own care and growth in the first place. Cultivating an environment of light, positivity, and healthy boundaries is what lets you build a life that actually resonates with who you are.
Pour into yourself daily
It's tempting to fall into constant giving without ever refilling your own cup but that relentless outpouring costs you and your family both. Focusing solely on others' needs while neglecting your own leaves you drained, overwhelmed, sometimes resentful. That affects far more than your own mental and emotional health; it shapes the energy you bring into every relationship. Running on empty makes it hard to be the partner, parent, or friend you actually want to be.
Counter that by prioritizing what genuinely lights you up; a hobby you're passionate about, time in nature, movement, or simply quiet reflection. Nourishing your own spirit doesn't take away from your family; it creates a more positive, vibrant atmosphere for them, because an energized, happy version of you is better equipped to support the people around you.
You matter too. Your needs and happiness are just as important as anyone else's in your care. Modelling that for your family teaches them that self-care isn't selfish, it's a necessary part of a healthy, thriving family.
Create your own village
Surround yourself with people who make you feel seen — people you can be your real, unfiltered, messy self around, unapologetically. Ask for help more often, and remember it's a privilege for others to show up for you in this season, not a burden on them.
It may take time to find your people, and that's okay. Keep showing up, keep making plans with those you gravitate toward — it develops into real friendship, even when it doesn't happen quickly.
Connect with your inner child
Motherhood is also an invitation to reconnect with your own childhood. Pick back up the hobbies you used to lose hours in. Wear the "extra" outfit that makes you feel fancy. Be a little whimsical, and play often — dance in the kitchen, make up outrageous stories, share silly secrets with your kids. Don't take yourself too seriously.
If any of these five resonate, that's often exactly the territory I work through together with my clients in therapy — whether it's setting boundaries without guilt, learning to pour into yourself again, or finding your village in a new season of motherhood.
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