Reasons you feel stuck in your healing journey

You feel like you are 'putting in the work' but you are still feeling stuck in the same patterns and habits? The real reasons you may be feeling stuck in your healing journey:

You’re over-identifying with your trauma.

Your past experiences shaped you but they don't define you. Sometimes, we hold onto our wounds too tightly because they feel familiar- even safe. Healing requires stepping into an identity beyond your pain. It means rewriting your story, not just retelling it.

You are mistaking calm for 'boring'

Your nervous system craves what it knows, even if it’s unhealthy. If chaos was your norm growing up, peace might feel really uncomfortable. You might find yourself self-sabotaging or seeking out drama because it makes you feel more 'alive'. This is not failure, it's actually a sign of your nervous system trying to protect you by leaning into the familiar. You need to consciously observe yourself and choose healthier ways to cope that increase your capacity for calm.

You’re subconsciously waiting for permission to move on.

Do you feel like you are waiting for you parents, an ex or an old friend to acknowledge your pain or validate your feelings before you move on? Healing doesn't require validation from the people who hurt you. You may never get the closure you are seeking (even if you totally deserve it!). The closure you need can also come from you.

You’re consuming a lot of healing content but not practicing it.

Reading about boundaries isn’t the same as setting them. You read books, listen to podcasts, talk to your friends but when it comes to actually sitting with your emotions, setting boundaries or doing the inner work, it feels too hard. You have to feel in order to heal but you don't have to do it all on your own! This is where therapy can be such a valuable containment space to process your feelings and feel empowered with tools to apply in your real life.

You think healing should always feel good.

In reality, growth takes vulnerability and being vulnerable is really uncomfortable. You need to grow your capacity for this discomfort and think of vulnerability as a muscle that you are strengthening. Letting go of old patterns can feel like letting go of an old version of yourself which brings a sense of grief with it. That is a natural grieving process that happens with real transformation.

The truth? You’re not stuck. You’re just in the messy middle (which is further than where you started). Do not minimize the progress you have already made and how far you have come. Celebrate your growth and be honest with yourself about where you need to help shift things to get 'unstuck'.

Keep going and simultaneously know that you don't have to do it all alone! Therapy is one way to really get into all the 'stuff' in the messy middle and come out the other side feeling seen and understood, having clarity on the path forward for your healing.

Share this post with a friend who 'gets it' and will be there for you in the messy middle.

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