Something I've learnt from my 6 month old daughter is that communicating your needs is a survival skill.
For her, she has multiple ways of communicating without speaking a single word but as adults, while there are many ways to communicate, we need to practice using our words and getting comfortable with this.
Communication is the oxygen within relationships. The life force that keeps them breathing, alive & safe.
People may have the fear of feeling like a burden or that they might be 'too much' and that this will push others away. This feels true for those who have continuously played the role 'carer' and have been valued for doing so. One can tend to equate ones worth with being 'easy', 'go with the flow' or 'the carer' and that if they are needing to be taken care of then they loose their value.
Ones value always comes from far more than one role. The truth is, that we all have needs and we all need taking care of sometimes. That care should come from ourselves as well as from others around us and not left as one person's sole responsibility.
We NEED to communicate our needs in relationships in order to feel seen, heard and cared for. We NEED to communicate our needs in order to receive, otherwise we find oirselves feeling resentful and unloved. Our partners, friends and family members cannot read our minds (even though sometimes we wish they could). It's not fair to expect them to just know what we need, when we need it. We need to tell them. And when we tell them, directly, we give them permission to do the same thing.
It's also okay for someone to have an adverse reaction to your needs. Perhaps they feel annoyed or inconvenienced, that's okay. It doesn't equate to them not caring for you. So remember, it's also okay for people to say no sometimes, even if it took a lot for you to ask for something. You can keep asking and perhaps check in and see when would be most convenient or open up a discussion around why it might be challenging for them to meet that need for you.
Let me know what you find challenging about asking for what you need?