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6 signs that tell you that you're in an unhealthy relationship

Updated: May 2, 2020

We all have many relationships that we find ourselves in, not only with regards to partnerships or romantic relationships but also those with family and friends. How do we know when our relationship is unhealthy? If a particular relationship is already coming to mind for you, there is a good chance that perhaps it's not the most healthy. This doesn't always mean that these relationships need to end but it does mean they need some work. Often when we feel a relationship is not healthy we either cling on tighter to that person or we start to gradually distance ourselves from that person, feeling that they were toxic or bad for us because of the way the made us feel about ourselves or they way they influenced our own behaviour.


Disclosure: This blog post is specifically addressing unhealthy relationships but the degree of toxicity will vary. If you are in an emotionally, sexually or physically abusive relationship please seek help immediately.


So what are some of the tell-telling signs that you should be looking out for?


1. Lack of Autonomy

Autonomy is our ability to make our own, independent and informed, decisions without being heavily influenced by a partner or a relationship. In a healthy relationship you can have your own separate thoughts, independent of the other. You can have separate dreams and goals and you may engage in challenging conversations and/or debates about your different opinions on matters. When a relationship is unhealthy separate dreams and goals are a major threat to the relationship.


In an unhealthy relationship we can find ourselves feeling like 'I must agree with you and you must agree with me' to keep the peace and make us both feel like we are 'right'.